[:en]I actually bought this shirt just cause I was doing some massive shopping at Pull & Bear and it wasn’t until later that I saw what it actually said. And true, it might be a cliché, but it’s so easy to not stay true to yourself and to forget about where you came from. I would know as I’ve been an expert on both regards.
As it comes to staying true to yourself I’ve been a lot of different personas throughout my life. I mean, I’m sure we all have different personas (or personalities if you wish) depending on how we act in different situations or in different groups of people, but what I’m referring to is that I’ve seriously been many different personas during my lifetime. I’ve been the snob, I’ve been the victim, I’ve been the judgemental and arrogant one. The list could probably go on forever. What it all comes down to is my own insecurity and low self esteem. I’m none of those personas anymore. Thomas Falkenstedt today is actually one heck of a loving and caring person with high self esteem and self confidence (and that is the first and last time you’ll ever hear me talk about myself in third person). So, how did I get to where I am now?
All I can say is: I’ve hit rock bottom, but I’ve made it back up. As soon as I have the courage to tell you guys what I’ve been through, you’ll be the first to know. The details aren’t relevant for this post though. I’m not saying everyone should hit rock bottom in order to be as humble and loving as I nowadays am, but I’m saying everyone should take a look at the reasons why they “hate”, “dislike” or just frown at people. There’s a person behind every facade. I see that person. I do dislike people. I’m no saint. But I haven’t put them in the dislike bin before thorough analysis of why they’re not to my taste, i.e. why they will be of no value in my life, and hence I let them exist, but don’t pay any attention to them. What I’m trying to say is that there’s more to the eye than what someone wears, what their social background is, what color their skin is, what their sexuality is and even though this one’s a biggie for me that I’m working on, what their religion is. To conclude this post: Do not judge people you don’t know! (Something I was really good at) Try loving instead of hating! The love you send out there will be returned, some way or another. Don’t like the word “love”? Feel free to replace it with “friendly gesture”, “a smile” or just “common decency”.
Cap: New Era
Shirt: Pull&Bear
Jeans: Pull&Bear
Shoes: H&M
Watch: Triwa
Photos: Kristoffer Broberg[:sv]
När jag köpte den här tröjan var det mitt i en shoppingbonanza i den för mig då oupptäckta Pull & Bear senast jag var i London. Att något kunde vara så ofattbart billigt gjorde att jag bara ryckte åt mig plagg efter plagg. Det var först vid en närmare titt jag såg vad det faktiskt stod på tröjan: Stay true and don’t forget the roots.
Just vad gäller att vara äkta så har jag en historik som inkluderar multipla personligheter (alltså inte i form av personlighetsstörning, utan beteendemässigt) som inträffat under olika tidpunkter i mitt liv. Jag har varit den jobbiga överklassungen, jag har varit den ofattbart hårt dömande och arroganta jäveln, jag har varit offret som det varit synd om… Listan kan göras lång. Vad dessa olika personifikationer, eller inbillningar av mig själv som jag föredrar att kalla dem, i grund och botten handlar om är dock mitt låga självförtroende och min osäkerhet. Det är med glädje jag kan utropa att jag inte är någon av dessa personligheter längre. Thomas Falkenstedt är idag en älskande och älskad person har högt självförtroende och hög självkänsla (första och sista gången någonsin jag kommer att tala om mig själv i tredje person). Jag vet mitt egenvärde. Jag är värdefull. Det låter nästan som ett mantra när jag skriver ner det här, men likväl är det ett rätt bra mantra för vem som helst att upprepa.
Vägen till detta tillstånd av välmående och höga tankar (sunda sådana) om mig själv har dock varit lång och det som krävdes för att jag skulle nå dit var att jag nådde min personliga botten. Vad den botten går ut på i detalj kommer jag i senare skede diskutera närmare här på bloggen när jag samlat till mig mod, men detaljerna är än så länge irrelevanta för inläggets skull. Det jag vill ha sagt är att jag är ödmjuk och tacksam på ett helt annat sätt än förr. Tolka mig inte fel. Jag är fortfarande rätt dömande av mig, men jag dömer däremot inte längre någon på förhand vare sig det handlar om hur de är klädda, vad deras sociala klasstillhörighet är, vilken hudfärg de har, vad de har för sexualitet (jodå, har varit hård även här) och faktiskt till och med den för mig rätt svåra biten, vilken religion de tillhör. Det finns en människa bakom varje fasad och den ser jag igenom. Det är inte förrän jag sett att det bakom fasaden finns en för mig outhärdlig människa som jag avvisar personen ur mitt liv som överflödig. Det jag vill ha sagt med detta inlägg är: Döm ingen på förhand! (Något jag var mästare på) Sprid inte hat runtomkring dig! Den kärlek du utstrålar kommer mångfaldigt tillbaka till dig på ett sätt eller annat. Gillar du inte ordet “kärlek” ersätt det med “vänlig gest”, “leende” eller exempelvis “artighet”.
Keps: New Era
Skjorta: Pull&Bear
Jeans: Pull&Bear
Skor: H&M
Klocka: Triwa
![[:en]Dark skies, happy thoughts [:sv]Regntunga skyar, men ett glatt sinne[:]](http://www.thomasfalkenstedt.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/IMG_5892-370x340.jpg)
Eric K
September 25, 2016 at 7:50 pmBuddy, I truly love it . We have all been through many different personalitiesand it is so important to stay true to yourself and ppl will love you as who you are. You are so right, don’t judge someone you don’t know. Amazing blog buddy ??????
http://www.erickfashion.com
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:50 pmThanks so much for you kind words Eric! As always you keep inspiring me to be both a better person as well as a better blogger! *bromance*
Stephanie
September 25, 2016 at 8:08 pmYou’re sharing some serious pro tips here, my friend. It’s so important to not judge. You never know someone’s story or what they’re going through and how much love they could need. We all need love in some form, and so if we want it, we should share it! 🙂 Love this message and LOVE your top. Totally cool.
Stephanie // SheSawStyle.com
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:51 pmExactly, everyone has a story and we need to understand that our own story isn’t the predominant one when we meet other people. Thank you so much for you kind words Stephanie!
xoxo
Thomas
Isabel
September 25, 2016 at 8:32 pmDear Thomas, you always have the ability to put me thinking over and over again about your posts.
Of course I used to do it all the time: to judge others without knowing them is what we all do.
But, in some point in your life, there’s something that makes you realize that’s not the right way to deal with people. My moment was when my first son was born and I felt vulnerable for the first time in my life.
Nowadays I’m just a sweet girl, as you know 🙂
Thanks for the great post, you are more than special when you write!
Keep up the amazing job!
Love,
Isabel
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:52 pmI’m truly very honoured to have you as a friend Isabel! Your kind words and compliments keep me going! 🙂
Love,
Thomas
Jennifer Quattrucci
September 25, 2016 at 8:54 pmSo true ! I can really relate to this post and your wise reflection. Your style is amazing and I’m so glad we have connected ! I look forward to more…
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:52 pmI’m so glad we’ve connected too dear Jennifer! You’re such a sweetheart!
xoxo
Thomas
Kreshma
September 25, 2016 at 11:55 pmIt’s like reading about my own life Thomas .. I am so glad I got to know you .. Love this shirt and totally gonna get one for my boyfriend ♥️
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:53 pmAww Kreshma, we are twin souls, you know that right? 🙂
Lots of love,
Thomas
Gina Diaz
September 26, 2016 at 1:46 amI agreed with you Thomas. I think it is very important to keep focusing on loving and giving the best to those around us. Awesome styling and location!
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:53 pmThank you so much for your compliments Gina! 🙂
xoxo
Thomas
Bernice
September 26, 2016 at 1:09 pmThis is so true! Only when we have hit rock bottom are we able to fully grasp what is at stake when we continue to strive through life.
http://www.bunnybernice.com/single-post/2016/09/26/Mesh-Black-Peep-Toes
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:54 pmAnd now the strive isn’t that tenuous anymore. I’m quite content with what’s going on right now! 🙂
xoxo
Thomas
Jalisa
September 26, 2016 at 2:37 pmWow, Thomas, I truly admire you for being so real and open about how you were and what it took for you to change your mindset on various perspectives and evolve into the lovely person you are today. You are for sure no longer arrogant, quite the exact opposite, truly humble. To even admit that the way you had judged people before was due to low self-esteem is just amazing and I think it’s often true for all of us, I know it has been the case with me. At the end of the day, we all want to be love and accepted and I think that’s why social media thrives so much, we’re giving/receiving from each other the attention we so desperately want in our everyday lives and it affirms us in some way that people care, shown through likes and follows. Though our self worth shouldn’t be based off such things, it does play on those human emotions and desires. As for your look, I LOVE that shirt with the patches and it looks great paired with the those white jeans and sneakers, so fresh! Thanks so much for sharing and always inspiring, I truly look forward to reading what you share and seeing what you wear (that totally rhymed, haha). I hope you’re having the best start to your Monday so far!
XO,
Jalisa
http://www.thestylecontour.com
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:57 pmThat’s why interacting outside the social media sphere is so importart, dear Jalisa! I’m so happy we’ve found each other as what truly makes one strong is friends, no matter how independent you think you are. But I do agree. Those likes, follows and comments on social media are a perk of course… A perk we shouldn’t take too seriously however. 🙂
Love,
Thomas
Molly
September 26, 2016 at 6:22 pmYou are so real on your blog and I adore your authenticity. Thanks for inspiring us all to show more love than hate! Keeping being you, never stop
Keep smiling!
Molly | http://www.stylemissmolly.com
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 6:58 pmOh Molly, you’re the sweetest! Thanks for your kind words! it’s the alike of you keep me going!
xoxo
Thomas
Sharon Wu
September 26, 2016 at 7:59 pmThis was such an inspiring post, Thomas! It’s so hard to find genuine people in this world, not to mention in the blogosphere. So glad that we have crossed paths so that you can keep me grounded and humble by reading your amazing posts! Loving your outfit too — looks perfect for fall 🙂 Just wish that it wasn’t 100 degrees out right now so I could sport a chambray top and a white pair of jeans… haha. Have a great week, Thomas! xo, sharon
http://www.stylelullaby.com/life-advice/life-hacks-mornings-easier/
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 7:00 pmSee honey, that works both ways. Your posts keep me down to earth and make me realize lots of things I haven’t thought of (even that tip about the heater, haha). But I truly am happy for having crossed paths with you and it won’t stop here. We’ll walk alongside on this windy road called life. 🙂
Love,
Thomas
Lauren Mazzei
September 27, 2016 at 4:30 amGreat post! Sometimes it’s hard not to lose yourself to a “persona” but I think it’s definitely something that comes with a lot of learning and a lot of growing up (at least for me it did). Thank you for this genuine, sincere, and honest post!
Xx Lauren
http://www.auburnrobes.com
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 7:01 pmThank you so much for you kind and supportive words Lauren! 🙂
xoxo
Thomas
Linh Dao
September 27, 2016 at 5:01 amI love that you open up in your post! Such courage. I completely understand what you mean about hit rock bottom and it is okay not to feel ready to talk about it and maybe you will never feel ready to talk about it. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t define who you are! Keep these posts coming. I love it! Thanks for sharing!
thomasfalkenstedt.com
September 27, 2016 at 7:02 pmDear Linh, your kind words make me all warm and fuzzy as I feel like the more I open up, the more love I get back. And like you said, whatever the underlying reasons are, they don’t define me. Thank you for your support!
xoxo
Thomas
gracie
September 30, 2016 at 9:35 pmWow such an inspirational post..thanks so much for sharing!
thomasfalkenstedt.com
October 5, 2016 at 8:03 pmThanks for the feedback Gracie! 🙂
Don
October 2, 2016 at 5:20 pmWow, incredible blog format! How lengthy have you ever been running
a blog for? you make blogging glance easy. The entire glance of your site is magnificent,
as smartly as the content material!
Julia
October 5, 2016 at 4:19 pmGreat post! Thank you for sharing this – I agree it’s so important not to judge someone you don’t know and to approach people with an open and positive mindset!
I love your outfit too!
Julia x
http://www.thevelvetrunway.com
thomasfalkenstedt.com
October 5, 2016 at 8:03 pmThank you so much for your kind words Julia! 🙂 You if anyone keeps me positive all the time!
xoxo
Thomas