Blog posts

When you’re never satisfied

When you’re never satisfied

Fashion, Life itself

Settling down has really never been an option. Nor has giving up, compromizing or giving up my integrity or standards. It might not have always seemed that way, but that’s where I am today. I’m not talking about anything specific or referring to something in particular, I’m talking about life itself. I’ve come way far from the rock bottom I’ve talked about in some previous posts, but there’s one issue which is basically on top of my list to try to be self therapeutic about and get rid of. That is, the feeling of never being satisfied with what I have or actually living in the present.

I’ve accomplished amazing things this past year. This post isn’t for details nor bragging, so I’ll leave that out. But I’ve basically achieved more goals than I could ever imagine, gone further than I ever thought was possible within such a short time span and should be genuinely happy. But I am not happy. I am not satisfied. These accomplishments I’ve made might look quite astounding and somewhat superhuman to an outsider, but as soon as I’ve accomplished something I kind of put it aside and think “well, that wasn’t so hard, anyone could do that” and not really realizing myself that NOT anyone can or has done what I have. I never enjoy the present. I constantly plan and imagine what life will be like in 6 months time or a year from now or when I’ve done this or that. I also know that in my current state, once I’ve reached these new goals, I’ll just brush it off like the previous accomplishments achieved and already have my mind set on what’s coming up next.

THAT is what I need to change. I need to learn to live in the present. I need to appreciate what I have achieved. I need to learn that things take time and more importantly, allow things to take time. Most important of all, I need to learn how to love myself to the fullest. They say you cannot love others if you don’t love yourself first. That’s somewhat untrue as I do love a lot of people, but for example when it comes to finding that special someone in your life it’s quite accurate. So, please dear readers, love yourselves as much as I already love you and maybe in time I’ll realize I’m quite lovable too.

With love,
Thomas

screen-shot-2016-10-22-at-17-44-09

Jacket: Barbour
Jeans: Pull&Bear
Boots: H&M
Co-model: Midori (check out her Insta @midoritheprincess)

Photo: Åsa Jakobsson / Kelpiestuds Fotografi

54 Comments

  1. Molly
    Saturday October 22nd, 2016 at 05:52 PM
    Reply

    Your post hit me hard because I am the same way! I have goals and once I accomplish them, I’m on to the next without taking time to truly reflect and appreciate. It is something I am working on, because it’s so important to celebrate our accomplishes. So proud of you Thomas for focusing in on this and inspiring others through your writing. Keep it up!

    Keep smiling!
    Molly | http://www.stylemissmolly.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:20 PM

      Thanks Molly! Your comments always make me smile and realize I’m not alone out there! 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  2. Michelle Sun
    Saturday October 22nd, 2016 at 07:16 PM
    Reply

    Oh my god Thomas, this post was so deep and inspiring! I absolutely LOVE your writing and admire how you’re not afraid to showcase your true feelings on your blog – that takes courage and guts, man. I just wanted to say that I absolutely know you’re a success in what you do (based on your honest character and the presentation of your blog) and that you deserve to love yourself as much as we all love you! Love where you’re at, love your friends and family, and love the accomplishments you’ve achieved so far. If anything, I think changing your mindset from not being satisfied to being proud at where you are in life will make a tremendous difference! I remember when I was depressed, a shift in my negative mindset was all I needed to get back right on track towards a positive life! However, it’s definitely harder than it sounds since I’ve experienced a low-point in my life before. I wish you the best Thomas <3

    – Michelle Sun
    @missmisschelle
    http://www.missmisschelle.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:22 PM

      Dear Michelle, we’re here to support and love each other and you certainly did just that with your comment! I need to do just that: switch my mindset! And yes, it does sound easier that it is, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. 🙂
      Love,
      Thomas

  3. diana
    Saturday October 22nd, 2016 at 07:54 PM
    Reply

    babe, ut happens sometimes! Great post

    http://www.queenhorsfall.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:23 PM

      Thanks Diana!

  4. Christine Kong
    Saturday October 22nd, 2016 at 09:56 PM
    Reply

    I love this post as I do with all of your insights and reminders. I agree, we push ourselves to reach our goals then think they weren’t that hard to attain to begin with. But we have to recognize those milestones and also celebrate each one to see how far we’ve come. I adore reading your posts! Keep them up Thomas! xoxo, Christine
    http://dailykongfidence.com/

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:24 PM

      Thank you so much Christine! Your comments keep me going! It’s a great idea to start celebrating milestones, even small ones. 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  5. Jo
    Saturday October 22nd, 2016 at 10:25 PM
    Reply

    You’re a rock star, Thomas! I haven’t been following your blog that long and I already see your blog and work ethic as an inspiration! I can totally relate to your feeling of never feeling content. I think it’s good to have a bit of that, but as you’ve said it’s good to live in the present as well and enjoy what you’ve accomplished. It’s all about balancing those two opposing thoughts, which is always easier said than done, isn’t it? Anyway, here’s to you, Thomas (raising a virtual champagne glass)! Well done for creating such an inspirational blog!!

    xoxo, Jo
    http://www.cutandchic.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:26 PM

      Jo, if I’m a rock star, you’re Queen B! 😀 And I do have to thank you for all your compliments. They make it easier for me to actually live in the present and to enjoy all accomplishments 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  6. Sharon Wu
    Saturday October 22nd, 2016 at 11:42 PM
    Reply

    Thomas, you are my biggest inspiration! I love how you get personal and I feel like you’re talking directly to me when I read your posts. I definitely resonate with this one like I do with many of your other ones… because well, you know we’re pretty much long lost twins. Aside from that though, I really do know what it feels like to never be fully satisfied and not live in the present when I should. Great things do take time to happen and accomplish, and sometimes I just lack the patience and want overnight success or something to happen right away. This is why lately, I’ve been more focused on little milestones and celebrating them because soon before you know it life pretty much flies you by! It’s the little things that add up to make the bigger things we want! Keep it up love and don’t stop dreaming big xo, sharon

    http://www.stylelullaby.com/fashion/all-about-the-flannel/

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:28 PM

      You’re likewise my biggest inspiration, love! I see you as a mentor (and long lost twin) and it’s heart warming to see how success can be measured in so many ways and I DO need to focus on all milestones, not only the big dreams that are to come!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  7. Gina Diaz
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 02:54 AM
    Reply

    Thomas I love your post! To me you are so so awesome :))) always ethose boots are rocking big times.

    Much love & biggest hug,

    Gina

    http://www.artsyrunway.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:29 PM

      Thank you so much Gina! 😀
      Lots of love and a huge hug back!
      Thomas

  8. Heidi Raisma
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 08:53 AM
    Reply

    You are so so lovable and belive in me when I say so, as long as you need until you find the belief in youself. Du är magnifik, bedårande,modig och helt helt underbar!
    ?

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:30 PM

      Och ditt stöd, din kärlek och din förståelse gör det hela så mycket enklare!
      Med kärlek,
      Thomas

  9. Abdelkhalek
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 09:09 AM
    Reply

    Such a great post

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:30 PM

      Thanks buddy!

  10. Jo
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 01:46 PM
    Reply

    I love this post very much Thomas! I have been going through some career related issues for the past year and have been so hard on myself especially always comparing to my friends and thinking why they are more successful than me! This post inspired me – you are right that I should learn to celebrate what I have achieved!! Keep up your great work Thomas!

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:31 PM

      You and me both then… But when you look more closely at it, how good aren’t we already? We should stop comparing and start celebrating our own lives instead!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  11. Aldora
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 03:10 PM
    Reply

    OMG Thomas, thanks for your sharing! I was like you – unhappy and dissatisfied with almost everything in life. Till one day I attended a self-development course which hit me real hard. I realised that being happy can be really simple – just be thankful and celebrate over small wins. Would love to share the below quote with you and hope you’ll have a happy week 🙂

    “Practicing gratitude is a very powerful tool to shift your attention on the things you don’t have to the things you do have and this alone will make you feel better.” Noelia Aanulds, Happiness: Learn How To Be Happy And Boost Your Life

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:31 PM

      That sounds like a course I should definitely be taking! And that quite by Aanulds was truly something I will take with me!

      xoxo
      Thomas

  12. Stephanie
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 06:26 PM
    Reply

    I honestly feel like we’re the same person sometimes. 99% of the time, when I read your posts, I think “wow it’s like reading my own brain.” What I applaud, however, is that you’re so open about it all. I tend to bottle things up, but here you are, not only putting yourself out there to a few people, but for the whole world to read and relate with. That’s to be seriously commended, my friend. I think that over time, you (and I) can learn to appreciate the effort we put into life and realize that we’re making a huge difference and accomplishing major things. Maybe we will truly learn to be satisfied and live in the present. I see how strong you are, and believe in you like crazy! Keep fighting for that satisfaction!

    Stephanie // SheSawStyle.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:32 PM

      I’m just wondering what that 1% is lacking… haha, just kidding. I know right, Stephanie, we’re so alike! So let’s do this together and be proud of what we’ve achieved already!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  13. Emma Langlands
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 06:37 PM
    Reply

    Wow, what a great read!!! I always always have to remind myself this all the time, it’s amazing how I don’t realise I’m not the only feeling a certain way!!
    Keep going, you can do it!! Great post!

    Emma • http://www.emmalanglands.co.uk

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:33 PM

      Thanks Emma! 🙂 By putting it out there and getting comments like this back I know I’m not alone. 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  14. Fe Samaia
    Sunday October 23rd, 2016 at 09:05 PM
    Reply

    Dear Thomas,

    I see so much passion and talent in you. I used to feel this exact same way. No matter how many compliments I got from others and great accomplishments I achieved, I still found myself not to be good enough. Until I realized that we are created by a perfect God and in His eyes we are perfect to fulfill every dream He has put on our hearts (all the talent necessary is already in us). So regardless of how you see yourself in the mirror, just know that you are created in the image of a perfect God, therefore in His eyes you are more than enough. ALWAYS. Regardless of what others say or think about you-even yourself.

    Love,
    Fe

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:35 PM

      Dear Fe, thank you for reminding me of God. It is to Him I turn to to find serenity and it is with Him I also should learn the art of loving myself, as I love Him.
      Love,
      Thomas

  15. Darlene
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 12:23 AM
    Reply

    Everything you said seems like I’m talking to myself. I have been constantly living in thoughts of “what’s gonna happen tomorrow” Without really paying attention to what is now. I continue to put myself down and don’t really pause to appreciate the things I have accomplished. Let us know how youre doing and yes you are quite lovable. Everyone can be lovable when they want to! Ha
    Thenewgirl.me

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:35 PM

      Haha, and the essence of this is: You’re always lovable, Darlene! 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  16. Jenn Hanft
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 12:25 AM
    Reply

    Ah Thomas these words are so true!! It’s so great that you can open up and be so honest. I’m sure everyone feels this way at some point, where what they do isn’t valued to the degree they would like. I sometimes find myself in the same boat, where I get over an obstacle and go well…anyone could have done that and I’m onto looking for the next wall to climb. You know what I learned? We are our own biggest enemy. So though it’s true in some ways you have to love yourself first before others, I like to think of it as “Love yourself, and the rest will fall into place.” This really helps me keep in mind that I, myself, am important and that everything will follow once I truly learn to love myself, flaws and above. Keep your head high!

    XO Jenn
    http://www.jennsemble.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:39 PM

      Jenn, my dear, I know from your posts you’ve been having a hard time lately as well and that’s why I especially appreciate what you’re telling me here. I WILL keep my head high! 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  17. Alyssa
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 01:47 AM
    Reply

    Thanks for sharing! I love how you are so candid and inspiring! It’s refreshing to read your blogs especially when I feel like you speak right from the heart !

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:40 PM

      Thank you so much dear Alyssa! That’s truly heart warming!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  18. Miki
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 04:03 AM
    Reply

    This is a great post and it’s always good to remind yourself to live in the moment. I am always hard on myself, so I can relate, unfortunately, I am pretty hard on myself. I think it’s a good idea to celebrate milestones so you don’t forget how far you come. It’s so good that you are self aware and can bring yourself to celebrate the little things and live in the moment more. 🙂

    Xo,
    Miki

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:41 PM

      We definitely have to live in the moment a lot more than we do, Miki! 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  19. Linh Dao
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 08:02 AM
    Reply

    So true Thomas! I agree with you because I’m the exact same way! I’ve completed so many things I thought I never would be able to but yet I’m still not satisfied with that. I crave to wanting more and want to do more! I tend to forget what’s in front of me and actually be proud of who I become! Thanks for sharing this! Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way!

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:41 PM

      And here I was thinking I was unique in some way and end up finding out there’s so many more of us like minded people out there. Thank you so much for the love!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  20. Maryam
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 04:51 PM
    Reply

    I love your writing style and how personal you get. I can completely relate. Sometimes it’s good to know that I’m not the only one. Thanks for sharing!

    xo, Maryam
    http://www.glamandposh.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:43 PM

      Thank you for joining the ever increasing group of us like minded out there! 🙂 Let’s fight our way out of this!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  21. Atsuna Matsui
    Monday October 24th, 2016 at 10:17 PM
    Reply

    Congrats for reaching some of your goals in life this year. 🙂 Thanks for always being so honest and endearing to your readers and fans! I wish you best of luck as a blogger and hope that we can both grow in our journey.

    xoxo
    http://www.atsunamatsui.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:44 PM

      I am confident that we’ll grow in our journey and the best part is, we’re doing it together! 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  22. Cece Lam
    Tuesday October 25th, 2016 at 02:53 AM
    Reply

    You’re my spirit animal. Thank you so much for sharing your genuine thoughts. Fight on 🙂

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:44 PM

      Aww 😀 Do you know how much that means to me? <3
      Love,
      Thomas

  23. Bernice
    Tuesday October 25th, 2016 at 07:17 AM
    Reply

    It can be so hard for us to reach satisfaction with what we currently have in life. A lot of us are perfectionists and realists where we know things can be improved that facing what we have can be hard to accept.

    http://www.bunnybernice.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:45 PM

      Yup, we’re a bunch of perfectionists and that’s something we need to work on to be able to actually enjoy life to the fullest!
      xoxo
      Thomas

  24. Julia
    Tuesday October 25th, 2016 at 08:16 AM
    Reply

    I love your post, Thomas. It feels like you are talking directly to me and I love how honest and open you are in all your writing.
    I totally resonate with you about living in the present – I also find it really difficult to be happy in the moment and appreciate everything I have (and have achieved) and maybe it can be quite small things!
    Thank you for sharing
    Julia x
    http://www.thevelvetrunway.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:46 PM

      Thank you sweetie! As well as just putting it out there for myself, I AM talking directly to you as well 🙂 It is not only for myself I put these thoughts up here, but also for you readers and I’m glad I can reach out to you the way I do.
      Love,
      Thomas

  25. samira
    Tuesday October 25th, 2016 at 06:02 PM
    Reply

    Hey Thomas! Thanks so much for sharing this great post. I really enjoyed reading it and everything you talked about. I can relate to you in many ways. I think many of us get so caught up in our lives or whatever is going and forget to live in the moment and enjoy our time NOW. So important to just sit back sometimes and remember to do that. And I love how you talked about the importance of loving yourself because it is so true. Such a great post! Keep it up!!

    Xo, Samira Radmehr

    http://www.leathertolunch.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:47 PM

      Thank you so much Samira! 🙂 And yeah, let’s keep loving ourselves! 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

  26. the Fashion Matters
    Tuesday October 25th, 2016 at 06:52 PM
    Reply

    what a lovely dog! nice to find your blog 🙂

    The Fashion Matters- Travel & Fashion Blog

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:47 PM

      Glad you found it! 🙂

  27. Adelina
    Tuesday October 25th, 2016 at 10:15 PM
    Reply

    I feel like I wrote this 🙂 I think our personalities are very similar and I admire that you share so much of yourself! Cheers to self-love and celebrating the little things every day along the way. Live in the present more. Note to self 🙂 Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people close to me point this out. xox, Adelina

    http://www.thecharmingolive.com

    • thomasfalkenstedt.com
      Wednesday October 26th, 2016 at 10:50 PM

      Haha, same here. And I think we should start listening to them, right? 🙂
      xoxo
      Thomas

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