Blog posts

[:en]Too much of the good life[:sv]För mycket av det goda[:]

[:en]Too much of the good life[:sv]För mycket av det goda[:]

Life itself

[:en]As you may have noticed, my blog has been on a hiatus for a long time now. The reason behind that is simply the mere fact that there are only 24 hours to a day and I would need the double. The month of May is also referred to as Mental Health Awareness month and the activities throughout this month made me ponder about why the break has been so long. Here goes.

First of all, let me start of by revealing an interesting, but terrifying fact: Men are still much more interested in their appearance than their mental health. There is a deep underlying thought among many people that it’s the outside that counts and mental health is something ugly, something bad, even a failure if you will. There is so much stigma regarding mental health and it needs to be de-stigmatized. I mean, seriously. Would you say the same about any other health conidition? Would you, for example, consider someone suffering from cancer being a “lazy person who just needs to get their shit together and man up”? That’s what I thought, you wouldn’t. When it comes to mental health that however is exactly the case, people who for one reason or another cannot do something due to an underlying mental health issue is considered weak, lazy, unmotivated and even stupid. Let me shed you some light on how I see it. 

When it comes to my life, I have had my ups and downs with mental health. You have read about my past struggles with alcoholism as well as other things in life during this journey I’ve undertaken as a blogger. Last year was crazy. Crazy good. A bit too good.

Things got out of hands. I was working 300% percent or busy doing something 24/7. I did not live in the present, nor the past, but always in the future. Always grasping for what’s next. That lead to a mental overload. At then end of it I didn’t know who I was anymore and barely remembered what I had been doing all year long as I had 90 something flights last year. That’s 90 flight days out of 365. It felt like I’ve spent more time up in the air than on the ground, both literally and with my head in the clouds. That is probably why I also lost it and didn’t touch base anymore. My feet had left the ground.

Like mentioned, last year was crazy. I could be on three different continents in one week and not even reflect upon things such as sleep, rest, not to mention food. I lived for working, experiencing, doing. I couldn’t and didn’t stop. People around me were worried about my pace, but I just said I’m fine. In fact, I even believed that myself. I thought I was perfectly fine, whereas my body and my mind were telling me a completely different story. At the end of 2017 my mind started to deteriorate, to finally give up in the beginning of 2018. As you can read in my last post from months ago, I still kept telling myself I was fine. I had had a few bumps on the road, sure, but according to me I was still fine. How tricky our brains can be.

This is when I realized I need a timeout. My mental health was not anywhere close to where it should be. I didn’t exist as a person. I existed as Thomas, the fashion editor, the blogger and successful at that, not as Thomas, the person who has a balanced life. These past months I’ve been working hard on myself. If you’re following me on Instagram you have noticed that I am back in the game there, not posting daily anymore however, but in a pace that suits me. As for my role as Fashion Editor for Candid Magazine that is what has kept me busy, but also kept me going. I simply love what I am doing.

My bag could equally well say ‘Blind for Life’. It’s not like I haven’t loved what I have been doing before, it’s just that I haven’t set any limits. There have been no boundaries what so ever and I haven’t listened to my body and mind nor people around me. Today I do exactly that. It might sound funny, but I actually ask my body on a daily basis: how much can you handle today? If the answer is quite a bit, go for it, work your ass off. If not, I am allowed to actually decline a job or simply not do anything at all. Doing nothing at all is actually quite hard and demanding, but ever so important. It has been a long hiatus, but now I’m finally back and dictating the terms of my life in a pace that suits me.

So what was all this about? It’s about me telling you, not only why I’ve been gone from here, but also to tell you I’ve felt like crap for ages, but haven’t taken it seriously. From now on I will focus on ME. Whatever else out there can wait, I am the most important person in my life, that precious life we only get to live once. Taking care of your mental health should be as obvious and equally important as taking care of your body by exercising. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. I urge you all to take a step back and reflect on your life and take necessary actions to actually live life to the fullest, not just a life without any depth or purpose to it. A life filled with friends, working, not working, working out, but most of all: giving yourself the time to enjoy things and allowing yourself the freedom to do nothing at all. This time I am back on my own terms and boy, it feels good!

Photographer: Joanna Bladh, Varumärkesstylisten[:sv]Som ni troligen märkt så har bloggen varit på paus under en längre tid nu. Skälet till detta är helt enkelt att dygnet dessvärre enbart består av 24 timmar och jag skulle behöva minst det dubbla. Under maj månad uppmärksammades psykisk ohälsa stort världen över i samband med Mental Health Awareness Month, och det var i samband med detta jag började fundera på varför bloggpausen varat så länge. Här kommer några orsaker till varför.

Först av allt vill jag berätta om likväl intressant som hårresande fakta: Enligt en ny undersökning är män fortfarande mer intresserade av hur de ser ut än deras psykiska hälsa. Det finns en djupt rotad tanke hos många människor att det är utsidan som räknas och att psykisk ohälsa är något fult, dåligt och även ett misslyckande hos den sjuke. Det finns så mycket stigma när det kommer till psykisk ohälsa och det måste helt enkelt avstigmatiseras. Seriöst, är det någon som skulle säga liknande om något annat hälsotillstånd? Skulle man exempelvis kalla en cancerpatient “någon som är lat och borde rycka upp sig”? Eller hur, det skulle man inte. När det kommer till psykisk ohälsa är det däremot precis det som är fallet. Människor som av en eller annan orsak är inkapabla att göra något på grund av en bakomliggande psykisk ohälsa ses som svaga, lata, omotiverade och till och med dumma i huvudet. Jag ser lite annorlunda på det hela.

Jag har haft mina dalar och toppar när det kommer till psykisk hälsa. Ni har bland annat över ett år sedan kunnat läsa om min kamp mot alkoholism och mycket annat här på bloggen. Förra året var galet. Galet bra. Lite för bra helt enkelt.

Jag förlorade helt enkelt kontroll och fokus i mitt liv. Jag jobbade 300% eller var upptagen med något annat dygnet runt. Jag levde inte i nuet, heller ej inte i det förflutna, utan alltid i vad som komma skall. Vad som är nästa kicken. Det ledde till en mental överbelastning helt enkelt. I slutet visste jag inte vem jag var längre och kom knappt ihåg vad jag gjort under året då jag hade över 90 flyg förra året. Det är 90 dagar utav 365. Det kändes som om jag var uppe i luften mer än nere på jordytan, både bokstavligt talat, men även för att jag förlorat markkontakt.

Förra året var som sagt galet. Jag kunde vara på tre olika kontinenter på en och samma vecka och inte ens reflektera över saker som sömn, vila, för att inte nämna mat. Jag levde för att jobba, uppleva, göra. Jag kunde inte sluta och gjorde det heller inte. Människor runtomkring mig var oroliga över min febrila takt och sa till mig att ta det lugnt, men jag svarade med att allt var bra. Faktum är att jag till och med trodde på detta själv, medan min kropp och själ sade mig något helt annat. I slutet av 2017 slutade hjärnan fungera och jag gav slutligen upp i början av 2018. Som ni kan läsa i mitt förra inlägg flera månader sedan så intalade jag mig fortfarande att allt var bra. Visst, jag hade haft lite hinder på vägen, men enligt mig själv var allt tydligen fortfarande bra. Hjärnan är allt bra på att lura oss.

Det var då jag insåg att jag måste ta en timeout. Min psykiska hälsa var inte i närheten av var den skulle vara. Jag existerade inte som person. Jag existerade som Thomas, moderedaktören och bloggaren och var jäkligt framgångsrik som sådan, inte som Thomas, personen med ett balanserat liv. Dessa gångna månader har jag jobbat hårt med mig själv. Om du följer mig på Instagram har ni sett att jag är tillbaka där, men även det i min egen takt och på mina villkor. Jag lägger upp kanske två-tre inlägg i veckan och det är nog, för tillfället. Vad gäller min roll som moderedaktör för Candid Magazine har det hållit mig fokuserad och upptagen, men även fått mig att vilja fortsätta. Jag älskar det jag gör helt enkelt.

Det är inte som att jag inte skulle ha älskat vad jag gör tidigare, det är bara det att jag inte satt några gränser. Det har inte funnit någon gränsdragning över huvud taget och jag har inte lyssnat på vare sig min kropp eller folk runtomkring mig. Idag gör jag just detta. Det kanske låter konstigt, men jag frågar på fullaste allvar min kropp varje dag: hur mycket orkar du idag? Ifall svaret är positivt är det bara att köra på. Om inte, då får jag faktiskt säga nej, tacka nej till saker och inte göra ett smack alls. Att inte göra något alls är faktiskt rätt krävande, men ändå otroligt viktigt. Det har varit en lång paus, men nu är jag äntligen tillbaka och dikterar själv villkoren i mitt liv i ett tempo som passar just mig.

Så vad handlade allt detta om? Det är mitt försök att berätta för dig, inte bara var jag hållit hus denna tid, men även att jag faktiskt mått skit ganske länge utan att ta det på allvar. Numera ligger fokus på MIG. Allt annat därute kan vänta då jag är den viktigaste personen i mitt liv, detta liv vi bara får ynnesten att leva en gång. Att ta hand om sin psykiska hälsa borde vara lika självklart och viktigt som att ta hand om sin kropp genom fysisk träning. Tyvärr är så inte alltid fallet. Jag uppmanar er alla att ta ett steg bakåt och tänka över era liv och göra vad än är nödvändigt för att kunna leva det till fullo, inte bara att “överleva” vardagen utan verkligen njuta av det. Se även till att lära er att njuta av att inte göra någonting alls. Så, nu är jag tillbaka på mina egna villkor och det känns fasiken så bra.

Photographer: Joanna Bladh, Varumärkesstylisten[:]

41 Comments

  1. Taylor Aube
    May 30, 2018 at 9:09 pm
    Reply

    It’s really important to be able to take a step back from anything in your life so you can recover. We all need a “mental health day” as we call them in the US, but just letting go for an extended period of time will give you the best refresh. Glad to see you back on your blog!

  2. Jenelle
    May 31, 2018 at 6:47 am
    Reply

    So glad you are taking more time out and finding some more me time. We all need it, funnily enough, it ends up fuelling the work later anyway.
    xx Jenelle
    http://www.inspiringwit.com

  3. Kileen
    May 31, 2018 at 7:07 am
    Reply

    Wow, thank you so much for sharing this raw part of you with all of us! Mental health is such a serious topic, and we definitely need to change the stigma around it. Also, I love your style- it is so unique!!

    Kileen
    cute & little

  4. Open Kloset By Karina
    May 31, 2018 at 11:50 am
    Reply

    Hey Thomas
    How are you?
    First, thank you for sharing this very Deep and Personal post. I was really sad that you left Blogging but now I understand 100%
    Mental Health is very Important and Serious!
    I am really Happy that you are back and Wish you all the Best and Sending you Positive Energy!
    Love the Full Look, Everything is Perfect on you!
    That Bag is Soooo Unique 🙂
    Kisses Hugs
    Karina
    Happy Week

  5. Lauryn Hock
    May 31, 2018 at 12:17 pm
    Reply

    I love your openness and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your story!

  6. Nataly
    May 31, 2018 at 12:32 pm
    Reply

    I am happy you are back Thomas! I think it is so important to take a step back from blogging every now and then to really just enjoy what’s going on in life! You look so fabulous in this look too!

  7. Christina Beauchamp
    May 31, 2018 at 12:55 pm
    Reply

    I am so glad that you are taking more time for yourself. You are brave! It’s hard to open up and share such a serious journey, but I’m glad that you did. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

  8. Stephanie
    May 31, 2018 at 5:35 pm
    Reply

    LET’S SAY IT AGAIN FOR THOSE IN THE BACK.

    Truly, Thomas. You will never quit inspiring me. Inspiring me to be a better blogger, a better me, and continue taking my health (mental and physical) into account. This post resonates so hard with me, as I’ve always struggled with mental health challenges and the frustration over the stigma (still trying to use my blog to single-handedly wipe that sometimes haha). I’m grateful for individuals like you, being honest and being REAL and being themselves. Thank you for sharing where you’ve been – both literally and with your thoughts and heart. I sure hope you have been taking some time to just pause and enjoy the moment, and I also cannot wait to see more of you on my feed again soon! Seriously missed you!

  9. Aysha Jones
    May 31, 2018 at 9:10 pm
    Reply

    Wow thank you for sharing this. It’s a reminder many needs but might not want to be reminded off. I’m ever so happy to have met you and be inspired by you Thomas. You’re awesome and I’ll try to remind you of your excellence the days you perfect it by doing nothing at all, yet everything for your mind and soul. Thank you once more❤️

  10. Mariann Yip
    May 31, 2018 at 9:55 pm
    Reply

    I am so glad you are back and I swear you and I connect on a much more deeper, mental and emotional level. I have been in a funk the past few months and was struggling to find clarity and purpose. I value self care and mental health because as I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed how important it is to take care of yourself before you can take care of others/ focus on your responsibilities. 90 flights is a lot and I honestly don’t know how you did it but I’m so glad you were able to take a step back and reflect and focus on you. I have and will always support you!

  11. Mayank goyal
    June 1, 2018 at 11:41 am
    Reply

    Very amazing posts.

  12. Taylor Mobley
    June 1, 2018 at 1:43 pm
    Reply

    I am really glad you are back and I am equally glad that you were able to take that time for yourself to really reflect on your mental health and get back to a place where you get healthy and mentally strong. I know work life balance is always a struggle for me so I definitely understand that. I am excited to see where this year takes you.

  13. Sharon Wu
    June 1, 2018 at 2:25 pm
    Reply

    Ahhh Thomas it’s great to see you back! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling like crap for so long — I think we all have these moments at some points in our lives and it’s important to take a step back and take breaks as needed. It’s all about that balance! I’m glad that you’ve decided to focus more on you and your mental health, as both are so important! <3 Happy Friday and enjoy the weekend! xoxo

  14. Isabel
    June 1, 2018 at 3:37 pm
    Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, sweetie. It make me think a lot. Sometimes it’s all in front of your eyes and you just don’t allow yourself to see it for so many reasons. I tend to consider myself a looser if I breack down even for a day…As a working mum you have to be 24/7 available for everyone and sometimes it’s just too much.
    Love you and your blog, I was missing your posts so much!
    Isabel

  15. Sheree
    June 1, 2018 at 4:34 pm
    Reply

    Taking me time is always essential, I am glad you are taking the time you need, I am sorry things have been rough for you, the future is going to hold nothing but great things for you, also you look adorable in denim on denim!

    ~xo Sheree
    poshclassymom.com

  16. Christine Kong
    June 2, 2018 at 6:30 pm
    Reply

    I absolutely love this post and may I say, welcome back! I think sometimes we all can get caught up in the next thing and saying yes to everything while sacrificing a little of who we are and what we want to do to make us happy. Time is everything and we can’t get it back so we should take a few moments a day to do something for yourselves and our mental health that reminds us of who we are. I am glad that you took a little break and you are now going at a pace that suits you because that is truly important. I love that denim sweatshirt BTW and that tote bag! xoxo, Christine
    http://dailykongfidence.com/

  17. theeyetraveler
    June 2, 2018 at 7:18 pm
    Reply

    Love your thoughts on this matter and it’s so amazing that more and more people like you speak up on mental health issues. Love your positivity, clarity and style!

  18. Uncle DD aka Dom Baza
    June 3, 2018 at 3:56 am
    Reply

    Dear brother,
    Welcome back! I am so happy to see you back and stronger than ever. I’m glad you took time away from here. You needed it and now you look so refreshed and happy. I’m glad to see you in a better place. Keep taking it one step at a time. And thank you for raising awareness for something so important as mental health. I’m always here for you.
    Love you,
    Uncle DD 😉

  19. Samjah
    June 4, 2018 at 3:36 am
    Reply

    First of all, welcome back!!! I missed reading your blogs! You always write something that makes me think, and I love that about you! This post is no different! You and I are at the same point in our careers and life. I believe my brain has been begging for a break for the last few months. I really need to be able to sit and do nothing. That’s so beneficial as you stated in your blog. Thank you for reminding me that’s it’s okay to take a step back. Oh how I’ve missed you so!! Fly outfit too, Thomas!

  20. Kirsten Wendlandt
    June 4, 2018 at 11:56 am
    Reply

    Thomas, I just love your honesty in your posts. I totally get the feeling run down thing from working on overdrive. As much as people look at blogging as a glamorous job it can be so much work, especially when you factor in all the travel you’ve been doing. Sometimes you just need a break and I’m so glad you were able to step away and get some me time.

    xox Kirsten // http://www.kirstenwendlandt.com

  21. KatWalkSF
    June 4, 2018 at 2:53 pm
    Reply

    You are an amazing writer. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

  22. LAFOTKA
    June 4, 2018 at 3:22 pm
    Reply

    You have hit the nail in the head my love. The comparison of the “societal diagnosis” is just perfect. It’s good to take a break and at the same time discover what else you’re capable of. Welcome back and you’re looking awesome!

    Tatyana x
    LAFOTKA

  23. Nailil
    June 5, 2018 at 4:29 am
    Reply

    It’s so brave of you to be open with your readers. That is something to admire.
    Xx, Nailil
    http://thirtyminusone.com/

  24. Jaya
    June 5, 2018 at 5:20 am
    Reply

    Thomas you are truly an inspiration to me and so many people! Im so thankful and happy to have you as a friend. You have courage and a big heart, so continue do take care of your self and the inspiration will always be there – just because you are you- Thomas. ❤️ Kram!!! ❤️?

  25. Jaya
    June 5, 2018 at 5:32 am
    Reply

    Thomas you are a truly an inspiration to me and so many people, you have the courage to question and share tough issues. Important stuff, I’m so happy to have you in my life as a friend and we meet and catch up when the timing is right for it. Simple the fact that you are a genuine, warm and included person is exactly what this world needs more of. Stora kramar till dig! ❤️

  26. Eva
    June 5, 2018 at 7:06 am
    Reply

    I’m really glad you back darling. Missed so much. I’m know you’re fashion editor you told us. This post makes reflect me to exist like a person. However I posting people see my professional area or side as not like Eva or person. Just a superficial side. I’m believe also to keep something for me and doesn’t share out all my thoughts. It’s like to strip out my clothes. I’m think the balance is in the middle. I happy you back on the track 😉 and I would like to embrace you dear friend. Keep care
    Xx
    Eva
    http://www.themermaidfashion.com

  27. Megan Elliott
    June 5, 2018 at 12:26 pm
    Reply

    Good for you!! I’m so happy that you were able to recognize the need to slow down and take some time for yourself. I used to be the same way, working constantly with no balance. Life is definitely so much more enjoyable now that I’ve found a happy medium!

  28. Aurela lacaj
    June 5, 2018 at 8:11 pm
    Reply

    Welcome back, Thomas. Is good to take a step back and focus on what’s most important your health. It is so true; we never understand the mental health, depression or any addiction. Today, for example, I was in shock to read that Kate Spade killed herself and left behind a vast legacy and her little girl. It’s so heartbreaking, but for us, regular people who don’t go through the pain don’t understand it. I am glad you are doing something you love and enjoy! Thanks for sharing your struggles with us, take care of yourself.

    Aurela x
    http://www.aurelafashionista.com

  29. Rachel Vogt
    June 5, 2018 at 9:50 pm
    Reply

    Aww welcome back and keep on inspiring Thomas. This denim on denim is so nice, you look so comfy and cute.

    XOXO
    @RachelVogtTrends
    http://rachelvogttrends.com/swimwear-with-river-island/

  30. Alexis
    June 6, 2018 at 12:37 am
    Reply

    Welcome back from your break! Taking time to refresh and regroup is so important! I recently took a 6 month break from blogging to refocus on my life outside of blogging and that lead to an all new blog that has me more excited than before. I’m new to your blog and I’m so excited to see what this year brings you! Best of luck!

  31. Samatha Mariko
    June 6, 2018 at 1:03 am
    Reply

    Thomas, welcome back! I was wondering when I’d be able to read a new post from you 🙂 I can’t believe you were flying 90 days out of 365 days… that’s crazy!! I don’t fly anywhere as much as you do and I feel like I’m always exhausted haha. I agree that it’s so important to make sure you are mentally stable/stress-free and that’s also something I’m working on myself. Anyways, I’m super happy you’re back blogging and can’t wait to see more fabulous content on here <3
    xo Samantha

  32. Simonetta Lein
    June 6, 2018 at 2:43 am
    Reply

    Thank you so much for talking about such an important yet delicate issue. Mental health is everything and it takes a strong inner self to decide to taking care of it. Thx for the inspiration

  33. Sarah
    June 6, 2018 at 9:33 am
    Reply

    Thomas it’s so good to have you back. I honestly could relate to every word you have written in this post. I went through something similar last year, where I also needed to take a step back. I have also just began to start writing again and becoming more active on Instagram and the Blog. And this time I am also doing it for myself and feeling so much less pressure than I used to feel last year. I think as bloggers, it’s so important for us to talk about real life issues like mental health and stress. We have to paint a picture that is real for our audience. Also I love the denim on denim look, looking fabulous as always :).

    xxx
    Sarah
    http://sarahatiq.com/

  34. Michelle Blashka
    June 6, 2018 at 10:17 am
    Reply

    Welcome back Thomas! I’ve missed your wit and insight. Your message is so timely – so often nobody talks about mental health till it’s too late. My thoughts keep going to Kate Spade who lived so colorfully…until she didn’t. So many of us struggle in silence. I’m so glad you’re making yourself a priority. You look great – love your denim on denim look!
    XO
    http://www.lehoarder.com/

  35. Vanessa
    June 6, 2018 at 9:02 pm
    Reply

    Welcome back my friend! I loved and enjoyed reading your post. It’s totally motivational and so inspiring. You really make me think about the importance of taking a break when it’s necessary and try to enjoy life to the fullest. As you mentioned, we only live once. And I totally agree, mental health is as important as working out to look good, we can’t forget about it!
    Thanks so much for sharing!
    Vanessa

  36. Erica Luczakowsky
    June 7, 2018 at 12:23 am
    Reply

    First of all, WOW. Thank you so much for being so honest about your highs and lows in the blogging industry, because it is something that needs to be constantly discussed and remembered. This industry is rough- rough on our bodies, rough on our mind, rough on our social/personal lives… rough. And, I find that the more we all band together and shed light on this, the more we are able to support and build up one another. Being honest with yourself and being able to admit when enough is enough is a H U G E accomplishment, and one you should be so, so proud of.

    Second of all, welcome back! I think we can all agree that we are soo excited to see what’s to come, but hey, I certainly don’t mind waiting a little extra time to see what this is, if that also means you are loving what you are doing again, and you’re doing it healthily. Nothing wrong with being fashionable late, after all 😉

    xoxo,
    E

  37. samira
    June 7, 2018 at 3:59 am
    Reply

    So glad to see your back but so glad you took the break you needed! Mental health is #1 and sometimes we all just need a break. So inspiring! Thanks for sharing!

    xx, Samira
    http://www.leathertolunch.com

  38. Darya
    June 7, 2018 at 8:36 am
    Reply

    Hey Thomas,

    I’m always so inspired with your articles about self-improvement.
    I also work on my mental and physical health a lot, and really glad that you do the same.

    Thank you for inspo. And you are looking stylish as always!

    xoxo
    Darya

  39. Deddeh Howard
    June 7, 2018 at 7:07 pm
    Reply

    Welcome back Thomas!! I miss reading all your amazing posts and I got to say, this is a great come back. I can’t get over how you make this look come to life!. I love it.

  40. Tandya Stewart
    June 13, 2018 at 2:33 am
    Reply

    I can totally understand where you are coming from. Being a blogger and being your own boss can take a toll on you. You are 100% reliant on yourself and you are always looking to collaborate and go to the next event. It can definitely be overwhelming. Mental illness is a real disease and we need to be there for one another no matter what! I am glad you took the needed time off for you.

    Thanks for sharing!
    Tandya
    http://www.simplytandya.com

  41. rash
    July 9, 2018 at 10:25 am
    Reply

    so glad you realized every step you made

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